Luis Suárez could put his Italian gestures to good use at Juventus next season. Photograph: Julian Finney - The Fa/The FA via Getty Images
It's a fairly quiet day in the world of football transfer gossip, with scribes across the country presumably too busy waving flags like dim serfs, alongside the rest of this miserably submissive nation, to make anything up.
Arsenal are planning an £8m deal for Lucas Biglia, the Anderlecht midfielder. Real Madrid are also very interested, however, so that's that.
Real Madrid are additionally sniffing around David Silva, but the Spanish international seems happy enough to keep gnawing on Manchester City's teat.
Brendan Rodgers has barely got his feet under the desk at Liverpool, and already he's having to shoo suitors away from Luis Suárez.Juventus are prepared to offer a paltry £16m for the striker, and are also talking about throwing Eljero Elia or Milos Krasic into the deal. Rodgers isn't having a bar of it, though you sense this won't be the Uruguayan's last appearance in the Rumour Mill this summer.
Juventus also want Robin van Persie, though that's hardly news.
Sunderland wish to sign Spartak Moscow winger Aiden McGeady, though might be best advised to wait until the former Celtic star has completed an underwhelming Euro 2012 before deciding how much to offer.
Borussia Mönchengladbach, from the 1970s, are planning a bid forJunior Hoilett. We like this retro vibe. More St Etienne, Magdeburg and Derby County in the Rumours, please!
Tottenham Hotspur might be tempted to cash in on Gareth Bale, before he spends too much time in central midfield and is found out.Manchester City are expected to pip Barcelona, St Etienne, Magdeburg and Derby County to his signature.
With Luka Modric tempted by a move to Manchester United, Harry Redknapp might cash in his own chips and bugger off to Qatar.
Liverpool have also joined the unedifying scramble for Crewe's 18-year-old prodigy Nick Powell. We'll see what Manchester United andArsenal have to say about that.
Fraser Forster, on loan at Celtic from Newcastle, wants to joinRangers, albeit the Rangers of the London-based Queens Parkvariety, so let's all calm down. Heurelho Gomes, Rob Green and Ben Foster are also in the frame for the gig, with Paddy Kenny likely to head off to Leeds United and his old pal Neil Warnock.
Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester City are locked in battle to sign Birmingham City midfielder Foday Nabay, who is 14. 14. He's 14. How can this possibly mean anything to anyone?
Eskisehirspor are interested in Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky.
Wigan Athletic want free agent goalkeeper Craig Gordon.
And we are all wretches, fawning servile wretches. The state of us, grown adults and all.
http://www.guardian.co.uk
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