Football transfer rumours: Arsenal to sign Podolski and Hoilett?

Today's Mill has never sat watching Dave in its underpants. Never.

One particular type of transfer dominates the headlines on this sunny Monday morning – the potential switch of several men from managerial hotseats, where they steer their clubs' destiny in domestic and European football, to the settee at home, where they watch Dave. In their underpants.

Two men who could be swapping the technical area for the increasingly pronounced bottom-shaped groove in their favourite piece of furniture are Arsène Wenger and André Villas-Boas, who look to be on thinner ice than a couple of sweaty polar bears. Or perhaps not, in the case of the Arsenal manager. His job is safe for another two years, according to the tabloids. Well, TWO YEARS, to be more precise, although the Mill always likes to think we're above such shameless captilisation. We're not, obviously, but we do like to think it.

In the summer Wenger will be handed either a £50m warchest or a £55m warchest, which considering he spent something similar to those amounts last summer won't be much comfort to Arsenal fans. That £50m or £55m will go on Lukas Podolski, Junior Hoilett, Matías Suárez andMario Götze, although saving a decent chunk of it for Robin van Persie's wages might not be a bad idea either.

Villas-Boas is not so fortunate though. No warchests or summer transfer hitlists for him. If his Chelsea side lose against Napoli in the Champions League this week then "the axe will fall", according to the Sun.

One man looking to swap those afternoons watching Top Gear reruns, where the day's highlight is happening across The Big Match on ITV4 at some point in the late morning, lunch consists of baked beans on average five times a week and a wander down to the charity bookshop is seen as something of an accomplishment for the cut-and-thrust of Premier League management is Roy Keane. He's jumped to the top ofWolves' wanted list – but only because Steve Bruce wants long-term commitment rather than a brief fling until the end of the season.

And last but not least, Notts County want Keith Curle (he of the ever-popular Sweets XI: Keith Curleywurley, Scott Mintoes, Haribo West, Carlton Palma Violets etc and so forth) to replace the departed Martin Allen, who got the chop at the weekend. And in the day's least interesting coaching news, Neil Warnock's first signing at Leeds will be Ronnie Jepson.

In actual transfer tittle-tattle, Tottenham and Paris St-Germain wantInternacional's Leandro Damião. "I am not aware of Paris SG," said the striker, showing a real lack of knowledge of Ligue 1 football. "All that I know is that Tottenham have made an offer."

Robbie Keane will profess his lifelong love of Aston Villa in the summer when he rejoins from LA Galaxy and Liverpool have takenPortsmouth's England Under-17s captain Sam Magri on trial.

guardian.co.uk